Is it the end for us?

    Never been this scare in my life, the scare of losing you, losing the one who probably the last person that i didn't want to lose. Never been this hate before, the hate toward myself who can't even make the right decision, make the right move and always cause tons of trouble. Never felt so miserable in my life, don't know which step i should takes, living so empty without goals. Is it the candle light which chase away the darkness or fire which burn all the things left inside me into ashes. Is it the end for us? 

 

Sum of Genting days

    My very first 6 days 2 jobs life was finally come to an end. The first job was a nightmare to me and i'm probably not going for this job again. Well the most fortune was you who accompany me for the rest of the days in another job as a croupier or dealer or whatever. All times that i spend with you was great and memories created were remarkable so all i wanna said was thanks for being there for me and thanks for being a part of me.

    However good things doesn't end that well actually. I can tell how much your brother hates toward me, i can see it through his eyes when he stared at me. But i can do anything about it cause i'm the one who hurt you first. 

   We waited at bus station for about 45 mins. You talk a lots express what you feel about your family. I sat there, hearing about all the things that you said. I wanna lend you a hand or gave you a hug or whatever that can let you feel relieve but i don't know what can i do. I hate myself cause i can't done anything for you when you need me, i can't protect the one i care.

Everything has changed

    Great to know that there are still someone didn't turn their back on you when you need them. It's like a candle light in darkness, a rope or something you can hold on when u are helpless. I'm lucky to have you but somehow it's different now, cause you can't hurt someone stab them on their heart and pretend that nothings happen. And the fact is i have hurt you and you've badly wounded.

    I'm glad but i feel remorse too. Maybe there is no redemption for me lol. Anyway to know that you are ok now and i can still stay connected with you is my biggest bonus. Thanks :) .

Well its me again :)

    Its has been a hell of a time i didn't lay my hand on my very own blog. Lots of things happen recently i cant even handle some of them. Well the only thing that i can tell myself is 'get used to it bro' cause i always mess things up.